Really, Spam?

I'm not sure I understand technology, but the good news is that I don't have to in order to use it.  What baffles me, though, is how we've managed to single-out certain strains of the flu, tetanus, and other diseases and also administer prophylaxis for them........but we still can't come up with a way to keep a REAL email message out of the SPAM folder.

Sorting through spam  is about as high on my list of priorities at work as vacuuming behind the refrigerator is for me at home.  Sure, I tend to my spam more frequently, but it's not really something I can devote set time in my day (or frankly week) to do.

Sorting through, though, it is a necessary evil, since we can't manage to make a computer program that is smart enough to keep the emails that say "Hi Jennifer I need your help with my academic issue" from co-mingling with ones that encourage me to click to "the humongous bouncing boobies*."  Nevertheless, I try to sort through them about every week to 10 days. 

I have a spam system, though, so I don't have to click through individual messages and delete one-by-one.  Instead, I do keyword searches in my folder for the usual spammy words (viagra, rolex, pills, etc..), selecting-all in the results, then delete.  It's fairly effective, given that a search for a gentleman's sausage takes care of between 30-40% of the load. After all of my words are searched, I've trimmed the 2500+ emails down to usually less than 200 in just a few minutes, which is absolutely manageable. 

Since I don't have that on a set schedule, I do it when I realize I need to.  Interestingly enough, that was today.   I was about half-way through my list when a student walked in to see me, so of course I abandoned my search and worked on his issue. 

We worked for a while and it wasn't a particularly conversation....all of which he had full view of my screen....but that was okay because there wasn't any student names or issues visible to him... 

....until he left...and I turned around to see that the results of my last search had populated while we were working together....and every email with the word "COCKZILLA" in it was there, listed on my screen.

Here I thought the SpongeBob SquarePants sticker a mom affixed to a letter she mailed to me a few weeks ago was the low point of my professionalism.....clearly I hadn't set my sights low enough. 

Check and clean your spam kids!! After hours!!!




* I swear I picked that email title randomly, I just scrolled and found it.  



EDIT:   as a follow-up I should note a few things. 
1) I've been working with this student for 3 years, so we have a good rapport.
2) When I called him about 5 minutes after he left my office, I asked if he'd seen my screen, apologized for what was on it, and explained that I was cleaning out my spam folder.  
3) He said he didn't see anything but would have pointed it out to me within about 3 seconds of seeing it, laughing anyway.  
4) I told him he could lie and say he did, it'd be a funny story.