Childhood Re-Writes

I realized today that there are a lot of things I used to/somehow believed as a child that I have a hard time letting go of as an adult.

For instance: I was walking through the house today, past the closet where we keep the litter box, when I caught a whiff of the air freshener I just replaced (since we're switching Frank & Beans over to new food.)    As soon as I smelled it, I held my breath.  Why?  Because when I was a kid, I actually believed that air fresheners would take away your ability to smell.   My dad told me that (or likely he uttered some variation of those words)....and I looped it around into my head that you'd never smell again if you smelled too much air freshener.  I always hold my breath now.

On that same vein:  Did you know that the reflective markers in the middle of the road are called "cigarettes?"   No? That's because they're not.  I have no idea what they're called, but I'm confident that they're not cigarettes.  I call them that anyway, though.  One night when I was really young, we were driving home I remember asking my mom (as we were driving from 115 onto 65 by Springbrook) what they were. Because I was probably not doing a very good job of keeping my focus or using correct, descriptive words (read: "Uhhm....what....are....HEYLOOKACAT!....what are those thingiiiiiies?  On the road?"    She replied, "Cigarettes?"  That deal = sealed.

My Grandma told me (a number of times) that it's a rule: all children have to to fold their arms in stores that sell breakable items.  I can confidently remember her telling me this after I knocked something off a Christmas display in Lazarus (I was probably doing my best impression whirling dervish.)  To this day I can't walk into a fine store with open displays or narrow aisles without reflexively folding my arms.  I'm sure the unintended standoffedness that results is that's why sales people don't ask me if they can help me...   Bonus, thanks Grandma!!

Finally, though no one ever told me this....and being absolutely unschooled about this growing up:  You can't open a dishwasher mid-cycle because 25 gallons of water will spill out, all over the floor.  I honestly thought this was true until someone did it in front of me when I was (thirty-two.)  I gasped and squealed when they did it, fearing for the life of their cat, who just happened to be walking by at the time.  I was sure he'd end up scalded, and be not only an ugly, mean sonofa, but now also bald.   I didn't grow up with a dishwasher and didn't have one myself until I was 28 - I honestly thought they cleaned the dishes by filling up completely, like a bath-tub.   I don't know, I didn't think it through. 

A few weeks ago I opened up the dishwasher mid-cycle when my talleryounger brother was here....he squealed and gasped...and took a step back.  Clearly we're both apples from the same tree.

Remind me to ask him if Grandma ever made HIM cross his arms in a nice store....