Maybe We Should

The other day an old high school acquaintance reminded me that we're not kids anymore.  It happened earlier in the day, before my brain was in overdrive, so it actually stuck with me a little longer.

Longer as in 40-something hours later I'm blogging about it because I've been thinking about it since then. Come to think of it, if I'm going to remember stuff like this in the morning, I should probably do more during those early hours.  Do things I need to remember - learn a language, perhaps.  Go the the grocery store.  I cou

She meant it in that "we can't always get 8 hours of sleep" way, since I'd been complaining about waking up after just 5 1/2 hours of sleep, feeling wide awake, but wanting to sleep until my alarm went off at 6:30.  While I still think I do better with between 7 1/2 and 8 hours every night....I get that this can't always be the reality.

But it made me think -- what if we left behind something important when we grew up?  What if focusing on not being kids and instead on being adults made us lose something along the way?  What if we left it back there and it would make us better today, if we could just go back and pick it up and reintegrate it (while still keeping our driver's licenses, etc..)?

I spent some time with my Goddaughter today, who is 7.  She had some friends over and they were playing, and I saw how much of how she moves through her world is magical.  It's different, when she's playing with peers.....how I can see how she interacts, reacts, and so on.  She made me realize:

We should lean into our next moments (and the moments after that) with enthusiasm and joy.  Feel the excitement of moving there, to let go of the fears of the future, and be thrilled to move into what is next.

Forget wearing emotions on your sleeve - how about leaving it where it is and showing it in who you are, WHEN you are?  What about experiencing an emotion, really having it and validating it and feeling it?  It's not a terrible thing to be sad or mad or jealous....what's terrible is not being honest with ourselves about why we feel that way, attending to the source of the feeling, owning where we are and allowing ourselves to move on.   We could all be more honest, with ourselves and others, about how we feel.  It would actually help others be more authentically themselves with us, when we're authentic with them.     Kids, when they're in the middle of an emotion, they'll feel the heck out of it...let it run its cycle...and move on.

Don't just be honest about emotions, but also about opinions, personal truths, impressions, and so on. 

We need to play like crazy.  Nothing was ever invented by someone who half-assed something. That may not actually be true I guess....maybe the Snuggie was intended to be a big, cheap fleece dress but the inventor was just too tired to put the back on.   No matter, when we love what we do, we do better at it. 

We need to sleep when we're tired, and sleep until we're satisfied.  Maybe if our heads are clearer, we could drop some of the stuffiness surrounding adulthood and just be more authentic, and happy, and living in the NOW.

Speaking of sleep....

Quick Like A Bunny

1)  Telestrations is one hilarious and super-fun game.  A quick-hit that I'm considering buying before Thanksgiving just so we can play it with the fam....or at least before the next Big Gay Dinner Party

2)  In a game of Telestrations, "throw pillows" can quickly become "betty stripes" which then slides into "betty ford standing in front of a flag." (This is to say it can go downhill quickly.)  Also, just about any scene can become "indian massacre."  Brutal, also true.

3)  I rocked the hell out of some salad dressing tonight.  Olive oil, balsalmic vinegar, maple syrup, dijon mustard and salt.   (Whuuuuut?)  On a spinach salad with walnuts, bacon, red onions and pears.  Dang.

4)  My church dinner company this time is, hands down, the best damn dinner company I've ever been a part of.  I laughed so hard tonight my eyes were bulging out of my face, my SKIN hurt from being stretched because my MOUTH was open in screaming laughter.  This is to say I had a nice time.

5)  I was up this morning at 5am because my body woke me up at that time. I was not pleased, but I did do a full load of laundry, exercise, and have a leisurely breakfast before the time I'd normally get up.

6) GracieBeans was not pleased that I was up and not using that time to pay attention to her, so she proceeded to get into the middle of everything I was doing.  This included jumping from the couch to my back mid-exercise.  She is not a jumping cat, so this is saying something.

7)  Speaking of GracieBeans, I just discovered that she is IN LOVE with being "lint rolled" -- positively loves it.  This is good, but weird.

8) Tomorrow will be full of many obligations -- including (but by no means limited to) cooking for Steph's family's Thanksgiving on Sunday, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, returning 2 Christmas trees, and laundry.  Yeesh, housewife much?

9) In light of that, I must go to bed.  Now.  Goodnight, moon.

I Sang The Whole Way Home

My mom and dad occasionally tell the story about when I was young (5? 6?) and we went to Grandma and Grandpa Kemmer's house for Christmas eve (as we did every year.)  I was so excited, so worked up, so wired for sound.....that as soon as I got out of the car, right before we walked up to the house.....I just had to scream.

So I did.

I still do that, when I get super excited about something.

Today I got great news, really excited, lots of energy, full of YES YES YES!!  The details aren't important (and nope I won't tell you) but the way I felt?   So excited....I could have screamed.

Except I was at work and one doesn't scream at work. Especially not when there's a loud student in the office right across from you, and a co-worker on the phone, and....oh lord I just realized I read that email when I was on the phone with someone ELSE!  Heavens!  But I stomped my feet, and I balled up my fists and made muscles in my arms, and my eyebrows leapt to the top of my forehead.

I had to hold it together for a couple of hours before I could leave work and really let it out.  After lunch I'd stopped for a coffee on the way back to the office...and then as a celebratory (and sweet as pie) gesture when she couldn't get through to me on the phone, Steph brought me a coffee too (not knowing I'd just finished one.)   I'm not a fidgety person, but my legs were bouncing...and I was just building up for that awesome Christmas Eve Scream.

I left work late and had to be somewhere at 6, so I had to move quickly....I thought I'd explode as soon as I left the building, but leaving the building with me was a veryprofessionalcolleague who was parked in the same lot as me....so we chatted cordially.  I couldn't even skip sideways....I had to walk normally.

So I got onto my scooter, I pulled out....and I SANG THE ENTIRE WAY HOME.  I laughed into the wind on the straight-aways....I yelled and yipped....and I SANG.  For six minutes (I don't live far from work) I spent 2 hours worth of excitement.

When I got home I was as energetic as a Little Richard song (woooo!) and I came into the house with a huge smile on my face.  Steph met me at the door, "Are you really that excited or is it the 2 big coffees you've had in the last 3 hours?"

"YESSSS!"  

I'd Wish This On Anyone

Tell me how much more perfect my life could be right now?  I currently have my sweet dog, my constant companion and best friend for the last 7 years, curled up underneath the blanket, right next to me on the couch, sighing from her contentedness.

My Love, still my biggest surprise after all these years, is sitting in the front room talking and laughing with a friend.  I love her laughter, her loudness.  She's my fiercest defender, most loyal and vocal advocate.  She pushes my boundaries, supports even the most stubborn parts of me, and absolutely loves me unconditionally.

Our sweetest kitties are sitting in the room with me, Frank in his perch, on top of my lockers, wondering when Steph will be in (I'll always play second fiddle to her.)   GracieBeans is loafed up on the coffee table, immediately at my knee.  She's taking breaks from blinking at me to go over and steal drinks of water from my cup.  She's clearly waiting for me to put the laptop down and invite her up, so she can snuggle under my chin and purr so loudly I need to turn up the tv. 

I am healthier than I have ever been in the last 15 years.  Aside from the weight loss, after a pretty significant food overhaul, my cholesterol, triglycerides and othernumberthingies are completely normal, which has (on two occasions now) caused my doctor to jump out of her chair.  The migraines I've suffered from since 2002 - the ones that could flatten me from the pain for a full day, cause me to nearly throw up when I even felt a breeze hit me....they're completely gone.

I live in a house that is happy and healthy.  We have two roommates who share our (enormous) space and who I genuinely enjoy.  They are both very different, but both incredibly generous and funny.  I think since I lived in and ran residence halls for 10 years I really became accustomed to having different energy in the house, others around.  The best part is that I don't have to bust them for alcohol use, or set up behavior agreements and/or quiet hour rules.


I have a job that I adore and look forward to doing.  Sure, there's grief that comes with untangling bureaucratic red tape and getting yelled at all day...but the work that I do makes a difference every day, and it's a tangible outcome that I can really see.  

While there are challenging moments, I don't have terrible days.  I have love, am fiercely loved, and have so much laughter and light in my life. I wish this....on everyone.

Random Things, Quick Like A Bunny

We had church small group tonight and thankfully it went much better than last time,  when I had to leave because I hadn't eaten in 8 hours and I was getting rage-y, I was so hungry.  (Sure, we were at a restaurant and waiting on our seats....but I didn't have that time.)   I love that the group can just sit and chat and hang out, that it's not too structured all the time.

We have a box spring sitting upright in the sewing room right now that I need to remember to list on Craigslist tomorrow.  The cats keep jumping to the top of it, playing King of the Mountain.  GracieBeans rarely wins, and just narrowly escaped a Michael Jackson baby-dangle scene, where Frank was practically holding her over the ledge a-la Blanket.

I earned my house-worth tonight running the hair dryer on the plastic that Steph put up over the windows today.  I'm a hair-drying machine....  Well, not literally.

I'm so tired my eyes are crossing.  I should have started this sooner.  I feel like I'm totally sucking at the blog-a-day project.

Oh - finally:  Marcel The Shell With Shoes On is everything that is right with the internet.

Knits On A Plane

I flew back from Atlanta this afternoon, after visiting my cousin, Tessa, and her family since last Thursday.  We were even able to swing a quick visit with Travis (her older brother) on the way to the airport. 

I love air travel (probably because it's always a personal trip, and I don't have to do it for work.)  I find it relaxing and almost always worth the money, since it cuts down on all of the crap I have to do to get anywhere.   While I'm not a fan of the baggage fees (really, it's stupid...and it creates a stupid "stuff-it-all" mentality that takes nothing but more time at the gate) I appreciate air travel on the whole. 

I generally wait until the very last minute to board a plane....why get on early?  I get that first class customers pay extra for a number of things, including the ability to board first...but why in the world is that a perk?   First of all, it's hot, and they have to sit and watch allllllll of the other customers file past them, way back, to their coach seats.  Plus they have to wait much longer for the plane to take off.  I don't get it - clearly I was not meant to be a first-class flyer. 

I was probably in the last dozen people to get on the plane -- I walked in, sat down, and settled in. Surprisingly, the travelers sitting next to me (I was by the window) weren't in their seats yet!  I pulled out my knitting and a cutie gay couple came down the aisle with their eyes fixed on the two seats next to me.  We exchanged hellos...and a sympathetic "sorry you're so tall" nod for the one guy...and we were set to go.

"Okay! Things are about to get crazy!" The tall guy said.  I looked over to see what he meant....and they both pulled out THEIR knitting.  It was like Christmas morning -- knitters! Row 21!  Yaaay!!   The tall one was working an intricate lace pattern, the guy in the middle, a baby sweater, and I was in the middle of a baby hat.  

Even the stewardesses called us out on the overhead, after the flight rules....something about "free knitting lessons, row 21."  I was in heaven.

Really it was a great way to end the trip - I had plenty of time to knit while Tessa and I were catching up, or watching movies with the girls.  The guys in the row with me were talkative, but not overly chatty (just like I like it) and they didn't give me weird looks for knitting on the plane!  Bonus!! 

Sunday Seven

1. Today I made a meal that everyone ate the crap out of.  Chicken made in the crock pot with onions and carrots, sauteed zucchini and squash. My cousin made pasta salad as another side...and it was gone in 25 minutes flat. 
2. We went to the park today and there was an older guy there with his "grandbaby."  I love that he started chatting me up, but I felt terrible that it took me 5 minutes to decipher what he was talking about. I swear I need a southerner by my side to translate.
3. I remembered today that even if you have to frog a knitting project 5 times, you need to do it as many times as necessary in order to be happy with what you're going to end up with. I'll thank myself later, even though it's been 2 days of knitting-then-frogging.
4. It's been a fantastic 3 days of relaxing and spending time with my cousin and her family. For a family with three daughters, there's a lot of activity, but also a lot of relaxing.
5. Their dog, Buckeye, looks EXACTLY like the Talking Dog.
6. My aunt, whose suite I've been staying in, has a soaking tub and I'm about to go take advantage of it.
7. I get to see my Love, Sophie, Frank & Beans tomorrow.  Sweet babies!